Colored with Prisma Color pencils and Prisma markers.
<3
I quickly drew these drawings on Monday, after my mom and I were trying to decide how we're going to make the top of my dress, that I'm going to be wearing next month for my cousins wedding. At first, my mother was going to design the dress for me out of new fabrics, but she didn't have taffeta fabric, but she did have a old dress made of silk taffeta, and she showed it to me, to see how the material is going to be. Then I pointed out to her, that I wish the color of the dress could be like the color of the old dress, which is a light pinky/peachy color, and she agreed of the color choice. So then she got an idea, for me to wear the old dress (the old dress is a dress my mother made either for me or my sister when we were like in elementary or middle school, and OMGOD....IT SORTA STILL FITS ME!!! LMAO!! The neckline just chokes my neck lol, and the top is reallly tight, O.o annnd I look Amish in the dress. LOL!), and she shortened the dress, by gathering the bottom of the dress and pinning it to the upper part of the dress. And OMGOD!!! SOO CUUUTE!!! I looove that the skirt part is going to be a bit puffy and just FUN TO MOVE IN!! :D So we both were pleased, and I showed my twin the skirt, and she loved it as well! Soo my mom and I were happy that my dress is figured out, and all we have to do is reconstruct it, and figure out the top section of the dress.
My mother and I came up with some ideas for the top part, but we weren't sure. So Monday night, I was doing some creative thinking and decided to quickly draw a few ideas out.
The story of the first wedding dress idea: My mom wants to make sleeves for my dress, and I thought, the top part could be a closed neckline, and the back will be the same, and I could add a STATEMENT NECKLACE!! HOW FUN!!! My twin loved the statement necklace idea. And for the shoes, I thought either peep toe strap heels with a cute simple look/design or a pump heel. The color of the shoes will either be a nude color (mom and twin's color pick), orrr a light pink color (my color pick).
The story of the second wedding dress idea: For the second idea, I drew a sleeveless dress, because, that's what I want, lol. I don't want sleeves, I want something fun. So I thought of having the top to be like a halter top, with beaded pearls on the neckline, and the back will be closed, like the front. The shoes will either be simple pumps in either nude or light pink. I thought of a fun idea for the shoes, I told my twin, wouldn't it be cool, if I could glue on jewel stones, like only one side of the front of the heel on each shoe, and she loved the idea! :D I love the idea too, but, I don't know, it might be too much going on with the pearls on the neckline, and then having jewel stones on the heels. O.o I don't know what's going to happen, it's all just ideas, and ideas are good to have.....just in case something goes wrong....LOL. HOPEFULLY NOT! :D
***Which ideas do you like, the first idea or the second idea?***
Hey guy's, so I have some bad news, my pc hard drive died on April 18th, and I'm fucking pissed, so I can' post as much, and I miss blogging sooo muuuch!! :( I don't know when my twin and I will get a new hard drive, sooo please be patient with our blog, I will come back, and I CAN'T WAIIIIT TO FULLY COME BACK!! :D
In the mean time, I have access to my dads lappy, but only at 11 pm, so I hope I can make some posts.
It is hard for me to believe that my father is 60 years old. Memories from when you used to take me to my soccer games, or sit with me in front of the computer helping me write my papers, or when we took the road trip to visit colleges – all of these memories have the quality of immediacy. They say that our capacity for memories is infinite, that once you begin digging into your past, there is no end to it. You are embedded in my past lives, through infancy, childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. There was a golden age for our family and that was perhaps before my 10th birthday. I have fond memories of riding with you and mother in the back of the car. I don't know exactly where we were driving to – perhaps out to dinner or to a movie. And as we were driving through the Midwest Club, I remember telling jokes to you and mom and making both of you laugh. I don't know what I said that was so funny but mother would laugh hysterically. Our family was gay, cheerful, and young.
In my childhood and early adolescence, you instilled in me a rare gift which I am grateful for. I imagine that most parents, as they are raising their children, do not analyze the effect such and such a behavior will have on their children. Whatever you taught me at an early age, you taught to me by instinct. What you have given, that I cherish and employ to this day, is a freely-chosen self discipline. Without self-discipline, I doubt whether I could have stayed clean from drugs this long. Without self-discipline, I doubt I could pursue my literary ambitions. Without self-discipline, even staying in shape and quitting smoking would have been impossible. Now I have received many gifts from both you and mother but this is the gift that stands out to me as being directly from you.
The other gift, which is a close second, is a love and appreciation of literature. About a month ago we were reading Shakespeare together – how joyful was I to be in your company reading again. And what a stark contrast from my childhood years when I used to throw tantrums to escape the "reading hour." But time and patience transform everything. Here I am today thanking you for what I felt you had imposed upon me as a child. The irony implicit in this life – the story speaks for itself.
Though for a good many years mostly when you made me read out loud to you – I imagined you as an overbearing tyrant which of course you were not. But a child sometimes sees his parents through a distorted lens. And as an adolescent, especially during my addition and during the divorce, I imagined you as a personification of evil. I might have made you into a voodoo doll if I had access to one. This of course is an exaggeration but I had a lot of resentment to you and many others during this period. What still baffles me to this day is not only the spiritual strength you must have had stored in you to protect yourself from me, but also the warmth you kept burning in your heart. Never did you grow cold, never did you reject me – but always loved me – and therefore this is the best model of unconditional love I have ever been shown. And it is this model of unconditional love that I emulate toward myself and others.
After the fog of my addiction cleared, after I began to mature into early adulthood and started taking care of my body and my health, you can imagine how my view of you began to change. In a way, I immortalized you – lifted you up from the ranks of man to the tier of godhood. You became a living hero to me and I sought to model my life after you. Indeed, I had transformed my life. I was living from what many would call a second birth and after years of abusing you, I must have wanted to pour a special salve on the relationship that would heal the wounds between us. But just as during my adolescence when I made you a voodoo doll, after my recovery, I was making you into my Buddha, my idol and I was near worshiping you. But neither of these images of you matched your true relation to me.
So today, on your 60th birthday, I ask the questions – What is your true relation to me? If you are not the man I blame or the man I praise, then who are you to me? And without being too philosophical, too entangled in speculation, I feel I can make the judgment that only now am I coming to see you as you are, and to love you for the man you are. For the first time, I am not inflating or deflating you – but really starting to get to know you. When I came over a couple weekends ago and we hung up pictures and organized your books, I saw a glimpse of who that man is who I call my father. No adjective will describe him. Not because he has no qualities – but because he is of a spirit that transcends qualities. He is an individual but not an ego. He reminds me of myself but overflows beyond myself.
Dad, I love you. A gratitude is present in me right now as I pen these final words. The mystery is so inconceivable – so infinite – it surrounds me like a dream. All I am thinking – this life is too short, too short, too short…
2. LOOVE THIS OUTFIT!! Loove everything the model is wearing! I loove the bag too!! ♥♥♥!!!
3. I LOOOOVE THE BLOUSE!! Love the color and love the draping of right side of the model's shoulder, I also loove the bag, and like the skirt! ♥♥♥!!
4. I LOOOOOOOVE THE AWESOME BAG!!! I WANT IT!! Loove the color and design of it!!! ♥♥♥♥!!
Left to Right
5. LOOVE THE PANTS!! I loove the bow belt, and love the mint green sweater ♥♥♥!!
6. I LOOOVE THE TRENCH COAT AND THE COLOR OF IT!! Love the fit on the sleeves!! Love the bag too! ♥♥♥♥
7. The model is soo cute. ^^
8. Loove the sweater, I love whats on the shoulders. :) ♥! Love the clutch too! ♥
Left to Right
9. LOOOVE THE COAT!! Love the color, the style of it, and the buttons. :D Love the bag too. ♥♥♥
10. Love the cape, so nice <33 Love the boyfriend jeans too <33
11. I LOOOVE THE BLACK VEST WITH THE BOW IN FRONT!! SOO CUTE!! <333
12. Love the nice fitted jeans and the color of it. :)
Left to Right
13. LOOVE THE WHOLE OUTFIT AND THE COLORS OF IT!!! Love the bag to. <3333
14. Looove the sweater. <33
15. LOOVE THE TRENCH COAT!! So cute, love how the bottom of the trench like fans out. So pretty. :) <33333
16. Loove this dress, very cute and simple! This dress reminds me so much of a similar dress I got from H&M in 2009! O.o lol Looks JUST LIKE THIS same color, but of course different fabric material. I love he shoes too <333
Want it
Left to Right
17. LOOVE THE WHOLE OUTFIT!! LOVE EVERYTHING THE MODEL IS WEARING!! So cool! I looove the PANTS!!! Want it! Love the zipper at the bottom and the drawstring, it just looks comfy and cool to wear, anyone agree? :)
18. LOOOVE NAVY BLUE COAT!!! Also love everything model is wearing <333
19. Love the denim shirt, and color of it. :) <333
20. Looove the color of the trousers. <33
21. LOOOOOVE THE MOCCASINS!!! They're soo cuute, I want them!!! <3333
I loove J.Crew, they never bore me, love their simplicity and the colors of their clothing pieces and they really make great SWEATERS!!! LOL! Seriously, I looove their vests and sweaters!! :D
The personality comes and goes. My task is to stay aware – aware of my discomfort, my anxiety, my suffering. An insight – as I mature, I find that my path is not so much one of seeking perfection or discovering an ideal state or creating an ideal object of art, but surrendering to my limitations, my deepest imperfections. I don't become a genius as I've always assumed but instead I let go of the ignorance, the fetters that delude me. This means accepting my greatest imperfections and loving the person I am now. Becoming does not resolve the human predicament. Being aware, however, can take me out of my personal drama and awaken me to my full capacity of love.
Thanks to Sick By Trend for posting the info on his blog about designing a shirt for Kylie Minogue, Dolce and Gabbana!!! :D I clicked on the link, and was interested, seems like something cool to do, and I have been thinking of giving it a shot. I mean, I have been waiting for an opportunity like this FOREVERRRRRR!!! SO, NOW IS THE TIME!! At first, I did back down from the contest I guess you would call, because, I didn't think I'd have a chance, or be good enough. But I shouldn't think that way, because, like I said above, I've been waiting for a loonng time for an opportunity like this, and I should not let it pass by me, and I can get some exposure for my art, and plus I LOOOVE KYLIE MINOUGE!!! I have been a fan of Kylie since I was 14, and now I'm 24, soooo yeaa, I'm gonna do the T-shirt design. :D
♥
So yesterday, I was working on a illustration for a follower ;), and then I started thinking about the t-shirt contest and, I started drawing out some sketch ideas, to give it out a try, and I came up with a few, but only like 2 of the designs I really like, but still not satisfied. As my great former 3-D sculpture teacher said to me, NEVER SETTLE FOR THE FIRST IDEA! Always play around and get more creative, till you feel that you are satisfied! So, that is what I'm currently doing, trying to get more creative with the T-shirt designs, and I must admit...it's hard, :/ .
My idea's are slowly coming to me...not cool! -.- I loove it when my ideas naturally flow and come to mind. :D I want to do a fun design with color, because when I think of Kylie, I think of COLOR! :D But still I want to keep it simple and easy on the eyes. :) Can't wait to come up with the final idea!! :D
♥
As her lyrics go,Whats the worst thing that could happen to you/ take a chance tonight, and try something new. ♥
I looove KYLIIEE! She is soooo BEAUTIFUL!! I loove the dress with the chains/pearls <333 The white pleated dress-sooo beautiful! Love everything she is wearing!
My personality is based on an overcompensation. I was wounded probably at the end of my childhood and at the beginning of my adolescence. I made several observations about who I am. I must have observed that I was not as smart as a certain group, that my intelligence was middle range and also that my abilities were mediocre. For the rest of my life, I would attempt to overcompensate for a belief that I am not as intelligent as the smartest group. I always compared myself to the highest, the brightest – they were part of the exclusive club I longed to be in. Similarly, socially I was not the coolest but I watched the coolest with envy and longing. This self division occurred in me early on. I told myself I must try to become unique. I cannot be like the others. Because I saw the smart people and the cool people as unique, as special but I was only average, mediocre, like everyone else. My turbulent adolescence centered almost entirely on this blind cause to become unique in whatever I could. I saw sameness and difference everywhere. I loathed sameness and worshiped difference – to set myself apart from the rest. Individualism became my creed. My academic obsessions – I had to overcompensate for what I believed was an overall lack of ability. My drug obsessions and self abandon – I had to overcompensate socially. I did not want to be like everyone else – extreme drug use put me into another category. I was unique because of my intensity. All of this overcompensation and the thick protective skin it has left on me – now that I prose my pain through the character of Lethe, I feel at last I have found the key to not only his drives and insecurities but my own – and everyone's personality to the extent that all of our personalities are overcompensation for some lack we feel from long ago that has, over the years, attained a level of truth with us. With me, I'm completely identified with my writing – this is my ultimate project to once and for all prove or compensate for my lack of ability and intelligence. We are walking overcompensations, it is as plain as day. What does this all mean? We are not ourselves – we are a reincarnation of our past selves. The wounded child or adolescent replaying the trauma over and over again by trying to cover it up, by being what he feels deep down he is not. Is the personality not a machine of overcompensation? For my novel – and I wince to say that because the novel is the epitome of my obsession. But what if, by knowing this about myself and others, I can expose it and Lethe is the obvious over compensator – obvious to everyone (the reader) except himself. Rose too. What is the result of blind strife, self hatred, the empty core of the personality – it's a myth each of us believes to be in the truth. By now, we've programmed ourselves into certain protective traits, habits – to keep us from feeling that empty core. We have all had a prolonged exposure to the empty core of our specific lack – now we structure our life on the project of becoming what we feel we are not. What then happened originally? Were those initial perceptions of our death, our lack, mistaken?
I added a double heart charm to my chain ring last week of Thursday, and my nana saw and loooved it!! :D
It was sooo cute her, OOOOOOH! LOL LOL<33333 Sadly when I got home, I was being rushed, and had to take off my ring, and forced the ring of my finger, and DAMMIT! >:| THE CHAIN BROKE!! SOO PISSED!!! >.< R.I.P. I guess, huh? This is the second time that the chain broke. -.-
*All pics taken by my twin*
♥
Little Story Of The Outfit
Last Friday, I wanted to go to the Mango event with my twin in Santa Monica, to meet blogger-Natalie Suarez, from Natalie Off Duty, but we didn't get to go, and I was sooo BUMMED OUT!! :((( So instead, I went to go see my nana, and this is the outfit I wore to see her. :) Usually when I go see my nana, I usually wear a clothing article that my mom designed and made when she was young in her late teens to her 20's, because my nana gets so happy to see her work on me :D. I made the outfit around the knitted top, which was knitted and perfectly done by my mother when she was in her 20's (truly vintage♥♥♥♥! :D). The only thing that bothers me of the outfit, was the shoes.... -.-. I wanted to wear my twin sisters camel color Zara lace ups, but I could not find them, arrghh..... >.<....and quickly decided to just wear my hobbit shoes from blowfish. I just like the colors of camel and red together, think it looks great, and gives off a nice rich look. ***Anyone agree? lol or not?*** :P
Knitted top-My moms Jeans-Jolt Hobbit Shoes-Blowfish Chain Ring-I made it Bag-H&M
After seeing my nana, my mom, bro, and I went home, and then my mom decided she wanted to go to the mall, so I came along, and ....wellll......it wasn't a enjoyable rest-of-the-day-at-the-mall. -.- I didn't buy anything, but I took some cell shots of things I liked at the mall. I haven't shopped at the Sherman Oaks Galleria Mall since last yr, and WOW....LOTS OF NEW CHANGES!! A few new stores opened, didn't get a chance to look at the names. :/ But I did find out of a REALLLY AWESOME CLOTHING STORE and a AWESOME BRAND FOR BAGS!! And I'd like to share them with you guys ♥ :)
The awesome new store, Allsaints. GO CHECK IT OUT!!!OH GOD, I INSTANTLY FELL IN LOVE WITH THE STORE AND THE BRAND!! I LOVED EVERYTHING!! Though my favs, are the SHOES!!! Why I love the shoes so much?! Because the DESIGNS OF THE SHOES!! I LOOVE IT!VERY DIFFERENT from the other shoes in the mall, and it def. is artsy in my eyes, modern, and yet simple. :) Sadly they're expensive. :/ lol
Here are the shoes I saw and loved in store :)
1.Zealand Damisi Boot (same boots, different views) 2. Damisi Boot(Same boot, different views) 3.Damisi Boot 4.Glitter Frankie Flat
1. Rosalina Heel 2.Omega Heel 3.Pither Heel
Theres a lot more at the site, so do go check it out! :D ***Don't you looove the heels?*** ♥
And this is the awesome bag brand, Matt & Nat. LOVE THEIR BAGS!!! Was at bloomingdales, and I went over to the bag table, that had a bunch of bags/purses/clutches etc. And I was looking, and I noticed this bag, and went WHOOOOA!!! I quickly grabbed it, started checking it out, and just LOOOVED THE BAG!! I was admiring the design of the bag, I reallly wanted it :( I love the double flaps, with the zipper edges on each one, and each flap, has its own pocket, I LOOOVED THAT!!! The more pockets...THE BETTER! :D lol. ♥
My mom and I liked this bag for my twin, she's in NEED of a bag, lol. :)
LOOVED THE SHORTS! Forgot which store this is :(
Forever 21 Floral Shorts
AREN'T THEY SUUPER CUUUUTE?!!!? I LOOVED THEM! I went in the store, and only cared to look for those floral shorts, but couldn't find them!!! >.< I was shocked to see forever 21 is now a 2 level store, and IT GOT SOOO MUCH BETTER! I haven't shopped at forever 21 for like 2 yrs! O.o I think the prices got up a little bit though, because the quality is a little better, they upgraded their game, lol. :D The one thing I don't like about the new look of the store, is the HORRIBLE LAYOUT OF THE STORE!!! EWWW DIDN'T LIKE IT AT ALLL! It's not organized, so I felt like I was going in circles, LOL, and got confused if I already looked at one section, you know? And whats up with the whole store being WHITE?! O.O I mean it's FOREVER 21....BRING IN SOME FUN COLORS!!! ***Do you guys agree of disagree with the white color of the store?*** I also think, forever 21 consists of SOOOO MANY TOPS!!! ITS CRAZY LOL!!! I love the first level more, it had lots of pretty skirts, floral tops, light knitted vest and tops, just much more feminine and soft. I think the first level had better quality tops/bottoms. I didn't get to check out the accessories, but I did see them from far very quickly. I noticed there's lots of tribal clutches made of beads <3333 and tribal bags. I looved them A LOT and they were bright colors!♥
Jeffrey Campbell -Lita
I was passing by a shoe store, and did a double look when I saw THE BLACK JC LITA SHOE!! :O I went and was like.......WHOOOOAAAAA!!! THEY'RE MONSTERIOUS!!!(I know thats not a word)...but that's the FIRST WORD THAT CAME TO MIND WHEN I SAW THE LITA SHOES!! LOL!!I HAD NOOO IDEA, THEY'RE THAT HUGE!! Yes, I was taken back at the SIZE OF THOSE SHOES! O.o Those shoes, look sooo great on every blogger girl I see, but, now it's like...I can't see myself in those shoes...like it doesn't fit my shy personality...you know? I mean, I LOOOVE THOSE SHOES, but after I saw them....I don't know. lol. I still love those shoes though, and yes, still shocked. LOL Though, I WOULD DEF. TRY THEM ON!! I can't decide on the shoes yet, if it's a yes or no, until I try them, RIGHT?! :D
Liked the outfit oh the manny, so took a pic with my cell.
I LOOOVED THIS CUTE FLORAL STRAPLESS DRESS! Loved the fabric, and the bubbly hem of the dress, super cute! Love this new store! Didn't get to check the name of it, but, loove the clothes, and the quality is better than forever 21, and it's pretty fair pricing/low pricing, which is soo great, because, THEY HAVE GREAT STUFF! :D
I.N.C Shoe In Mens
I LOOVED THIS SHOE! I need to find a sneaker like this for females, if not, I'll just buy a guy's shoe. :D LOL♥
So, that was my Friday last week.
***Did anyone get to go to the MANGO EVENT @ Santa Monica, last Friday?***
Since I'm on my break, I want to get back to sewing and making things because I have some ideas, and untouched fabric that I got last summer, and WANT TO USE THEM THIS SUMMER!! LOL! :D
I'd like to make a romper, a flowy skirt, a drape vest, a knitted/non-knitted turban, annnnnd whatever else comes to mind. :) I'd also like to revamp some old clothes in my closet :). So, I've been looking and googling for goood tutorials, and found some, and want to share with you guys! :)
Hope you guys like the tutorials and the blogs. :) I tried to look for a tutorial/pattern I found last yr, and I'm soo stupid for not bookmarking the tutorial, because NOW I CANT FIND IT!!!! >.< Sooooo PISSED! It was a DIY drape vest or cardi. -.-
Written by Chris Al-Aswad and illustrated by Gerrar Gonzalez
June 20, 2007 – Normal, IL
In my novel, the main character is riding a bus to Las Vegas when he has an epiphany – "I'm an eccentric genius," he says to himself. He's writing a novel, he realizes, a novel of life. He's writing his "aesthetic existence" in the words of Foucault. To Lethe, the world is the stage for his art. He immerses himself in drama with other characters, and then, suddenly detaches himself to investigate the random experience. The other people he meets in Las Vegas are the supporting cast. Lethe provokes them to create drama, to create experiences that he can later contemplate and analyze or manipulate in story form. Lethe's arch-type is the magician – he takes pleasure in play acting and playing with social realities. He has a personal mythology – he unconsciously weaves and develops in his interactions with others. Lethe is also a narcissist and perhaps his greatest shortcoming is that he assumes random people he meets are conforming to his imaginary epic. It appears as though these other characters are meeting him on the same stage and perhaps they are momentarily – but this is an illusion because in this novel every individual is immersed and blinded by a personal mythology of their own. Where they are the center of their life – epic and they seriously play the role they have known since their earliest memory. Everyone around them is the supporting cast. Therefore humans go about thinking they belong to a universal script in which everyone else naturally understands their role – when in fact – our epics and roles are as diverse as our environments, upbringings, and countless other factors. We have difficulty understanding others when we forget the role we are playing. The liberating part of this theory of life is that when you become conscious of the role you are playing, you no longer have to play it anymore.
Read scenes from Chris' novel of life here on The Blog of Innocence.
We can learn by living in reality by dispelling illusions And illusions are desires forget desires - Just be – live in the moment of what you are doing Otherwise we cheat ourselves We trade in counterfeit We never understand truth We never understand goodness We ourselves are false We can only do one thing to get out of this cycle of birth and death And that is to discern what is true from what is untrue Real from what is unreal So for me, greatness cannot be attained by simply desiring it. Awash in the dreamy world of illusions and ideals that does not get you to the thing itself that does not get you to greatness that does not get you to love. Greatness must desire you Love must desire you Only by renouncing these illusions by refusing to perpetuate them By living, in reality. Reality has its own desires Reality has its own will its own push, its own momentum We have to be aware of the way things are before we can transcend them otherwise we will only have falseness to adorn ourselves with.
